Yeah, yeah so the much ballyhooed 21st of December is next Friday. So what? What's all the rumpus, anyway?
Nothing much, really. NASA scientists say we have nothing to fear: no "supermassive black hole" is going to suck us into the cosmic vacuum bag. The world isn't about to flip on its axis and dump us all into oblivion. And the dreaded End of Days is just another Schwarzenegger movie.
All undoubtedly, probably, logically true. But....what if?
What if the scientists are wrong? It's happened before. Plenty of times. What if officialdom is a bit too eager to poo-poo notions of a looming Apocalypse? What's the worst that could happen?
Johnny Maestro? A remake of "Call Me Maybe?" Or another season of "Honey Boo Boo?"
Nothing so alarming, friends. Sanity will prevail, the earth will retain its rightful tilt, axis and rotation as it continues its orbit around the sun. Sure, there may be some particularly playful solar flares and meteor showers (thanks, Gemenid) this go round, but nothing apocalyptic. The Maya certainly didn't think so.
So, throw a little Doomsday party on the 21st, or dress up like Kukulkan (just in case he does return) and prepare yourself for more of the same nail-biting, hysterical hoopla that surrounded Y2K (Remember that? When all the world's computers were supposed to glitch out on New Year's 2000 because of the two-digit year code, resulting in airplanes tumbling from the sky, mass power grid outages and yet another "hanging chad" count in the Florida election returns?)
Again, nothing so alarming. I promise. Honest Injun.
(and, no, I'm not a lawyer, a politician or a used-car salesman; I'm just another ink-stained wretch in the hinterlands).
And on THAT you have my word.